Hello again. This is a post I almost didn’t write. So very close to the opening of this space, a slight gap in publication dates will hardly be noticed. There are two generous souls following me at the moment, and to them I would like to apologize and explain. More than that, though, the delay fits the theme of the place.
See, I had originally planned to begin December first. Then I got an idea. A bright idea, I thought. I would also publish the Advent study I wrote over the past three years, and I’d like the time to gather what initial audience I could before it started. Moreover, December is an awkward time of year to be introducing a new plea for attention. Everyone is busy, distracted, full. I would open the blog in November. That would be better.
Then I updated my computer. I was using the thing just fine. The little reminder popped up that the update was ready, and all I needed to do was restart. I had already delayed this operation several times, and I have ADHD. I momentarily forgot that executive dysfunction had prevented me from backing up the computer as I know I should for the past month and a half, and I impulsively hit ‘restart.’
The computer shut down. It never came back up. The indicator lights for power on and AC power input both continued to work. Beyond that: nothing. Literally nothing. No fan. No nearly imperceptible lightening of the screen. It definitely did NOT begin to boot up in any way that would give me access to safe-mode or bios recovery.
Guys, I had the first month of Through the Bible posts, the first five posts for the Bible vs Sunday School and Pieces of the Mosaic, and three of Pieces of Me already written (I have chronic illnesses and small children, I don’t want to risk an interruption to the scheduled posts, ironically…) but, once again I blame ADHD, NOT BACKED UP!
Fortunately, the computer is still under warranty, and it was promptly sent off for repairs. In a world with pandemic and holiday delays, it took twice as long as projected to come back. However, I HAVE ALL MY DATA! I have a new main board (is it no longer called a motherboard?) and bios was reinstalled. My programmer mother said I basically have a new computer. But all my data is in tact!
And… I got it back on December 2. Time enough to relearn how to breathe, recover from the stress of the uncertainty, and reenter the headspace of the endeavor. Time enough to write this post and share it. Time enough to settle back on the original projected schedule.
Here I am, back at it, with no real damage to speak up, but an experience I would rather not have had. Was God’s hand in the delay? I know it was certainly in the preservation of my data. But this is the question: how do we recognize providence?
I believe I was using my wisdom to the best of my ability, and there was no ‘leading’ to contrary that I ignored. That said, perhaps I was over eager in deciding to publish my Advent study.
See, I’m also pursuing traditional publication for that particular project. That path is… challenging at best. It is conceivable I should not have given up on it so quickly. After all, aside from my nerves, the only real effect of the delay was the prevention of that measure.
Alternatively, I now have plans to begin one more series. That brings me to four, once a month each for a weekly post.
So I ask again: Was God’s hand in the delay? Or did he simply use an existing experience? Will I ever know, and does it matter?