I don’t actually want to spend much time on the spies going into Canaan and their report. I will say: we named our son Caleb. And, guys, nephilim. Talk about fun mysteries of the Bible to contemplate.
What I do want to talk about is what Moses gets in trouble for. He literally says he would rather die than deal with the whiny nation any longer. “I’m exhausted. These people are too much. Am I their father that I have to deal with their whining? Kill me now, please.” Seriously! And that he does not get in trouble for. God listens to his emotions and his anger and his fatigue, and God provides an answer. God tells Moses to share the burden. God meets his need.
What Moses gets in trouble for is doubting God. The people are whining about meat, and God says he’ll provide the meat, and Moses gets all sarcastic about it. Moses questions how he’s supposed to provide meat for all those people like it’s actually on him somehow. That is what Moses gets in trouble for. And God basically says, “Yeah? Watch.”
God has all the patience we could ever hope for when it comes to our pain and fatigue. He will listen; he will comfort; he will provide. What God does not have patience for is challenging him. He even demonstrates patience for doubt. On multiple occasions he meets people in their doubt and reassures them. Sometimes there’s a bit of “you really should know better, you realize that, right?” involved, but questioning doubt, doubt that seeks to understand, he shows us over and over, is permitted. Challenging doubt, dismissive doubt, the doubt that says “yeah, right,” that’s the doubt that makes God angry.
How do you approach him with your doubt? Are you open? Searching? Or are you angry and dismissive? Do you take you anger and pain and fatigue to him honestly? Or do you let it build up within you until you’re blaming him for it all? He LOVES you, and he WANTS to comfort you. Do you let him?